Why I Never Showed

I could meet you in a dark room 
In that corner somewhere.
And you would do to me 
What only you and your eyes can.

I'd walk in so awkwardly
My uncertainty would show in every misstep.
You'd search me for meaning
Just to find I didn't have any left.

There'd be that pregnant pause
The only thing left between us
Ain't that the way it goes
When love runs out of luck? 

Then a thousand broken voices
From broken faces
With broken dreams would errupt.

And I'd want you to kiss me.
Or at least to try to.
Just so I could not let you.
Until I let you.

And I'd fall into that spot
The place I fit so well into
Çause you molded me to it. 
And I carved it out in you. 

My throat gets heavy
Everytime I want to hear your name.
And I've got these memories.
So dark and dusty.
I chalk them up to mistakes.

I like to think that maybe you could taste the salt.
I like to think you could feel these waves.

Yeah but if i saw you now
Yeah but if i saw you now
Yeah but if i saw you now......

Well you would probably be friendly.
And my hands would be trembling.
And we'd say the worst things
Like "hey, how have you  been?"
And we would talk about weather
Or we could talk about war
But all the while, I'd be thinking
"Hey, I don't know you anymore."

You know, I just want you to love me.
In ways I'd always hoped for.
In ways you never quite could.
In ways I shouldn't ask for.
You were the sweetest illusion
And you numbed all my senses
And now the weak spots of my heart

Still beat right up against it. 




Lost and Found

 He's got all the clever lines memorized just like a Bible.
She's got her fancy shoes on.
They are the envy of that lovely lady in the corner
Who swears she got old too young.

The bartender just wants to be a rockstar
But he's afraid to sing his songs.
I live to say what my lips will never let me.
And look away so as not to look so long.

Let him run until his heart is fearless.
Let her roar when her love is fierce.
Let him sing when his heart's content
And let her rest easy. 
Let him rest easy.
Let her rest easy. 

I take leaps of faith
And then measured steps
Trying to get where I am going.
I don't know which to thank for ending up at your door.
Could be this mindful map, 
A steady stride, 
Or memories that guide me.
But in your eyes, I am 
Found and lost
And found once more.

I think of you in words that float
And spin hope
Just like a prophet's.
And my love for you is as timeless as the sea.
So if you've never heard a single word
The way that I've intended,
Think of these when you remember me.

May you run til your heart is fearless.
May you roar when your love is fierce.
May you sing when your heart's content.
May you rest easy. 
May you rest easy. 
Let us rest easy. 


Quitter

 This is the time. 
We start here. 
No more waiting for the stars to align
Or hididng behind ancient fears.

I've been killing time.
The time I wasted before.
And I've been searching for victory
Lost in someone else's war.

I can do this all for myself.
I can't keep pretending I don't feel anymore.
I can't live my life for everyone else.
I never needed you more.
So I'm walking, So I'm walking, So I'm walking out the door.

You'll tell me just to rest.
And give me a space to lay my head down.
Another place I'll learn how to regret.
And hope that you don't take it personally somehow.

'Cause you know I wanted to please you
Or maybe you don't
But please don't think this was just easy for me.
Promise me you won't. 

I can't look for something in someone else's arms
That's so much greater than what they could ever give.
And I can't spend another night just holding on
To a dream I wasn't meant to live.
So I'm walking, so I'm walking, 
Out on this.

Well maybe I could be just who you want me to be.
Maybe I really don't feel.
Maybe I should try to do something for someone else.
Maybe I got carried away.
Maybe it's all just a matter of will.
No I'm walking, no I'm walking, no I'm walking out still. 





Susie's Song

 Strum a song
And I'll sing along
Cuz I got so much to smile about.

Life and love in harmonies
When I sing, my heart's complete.

And I sing because I believe
And that makes me happy.

I'm alive, I'm in love, I get by.
I walk in strides and take it all in.
I'm alive, baby, these are good times, 
And I feel so high, it's infinite.

I drink my coffee in the mornings
Dreams linger, whisper to me
Faces and places of the past
And oh a memory lasts.

I'm alive, I'm in love, I get by
I walk in strides and take it all in.
I'm alive, baby, these are good times
And I feel so high, it's infinite

And some eyes brighten my heart
So I can't wait
I just can't wait 
For the next part. 

All of my faith
And all of my hope
That's why I sing.

I feel free in simplicity
Speaks to me
Dancing along.
A book, a ride, a statue, a song,
Got me dancing along.

A feeling so strong, it just brightens my heart
So I can't wait. 
I just can't wait 
For the next part. 




You and Me

You and me
We got a sacred thing.
So don't go do anything crazy with anyone else.

Because I got this dream
As silly as it seems
That someday you and me could buy a house.

And if that house ever gets lonely, 
The way houses sometimes do, 
All you would have to do is tell me
And we'd get on a boat
And leave it all behind. 

Çuz you and me
It's more than chemistry.
This is a soulful thing.
Do you feel it too? 

Say you do

I was never the quiet kind.
I tend to say exactly what's on my mind.
No need to read between the lines, baby,
I love you. 

Do you feel it too? 
Say you do. 

Jungles

 I went to jungles
Where I knew you wouldn't be.
And asked all the wild horses
To make a heroine out of me.
I looked them in their marbled eyes
And I fell down to my knees
And I said, "please....
Teach me how to be free.

Because I thought I knew love 
When I was hiding between bars
And holding them felt like holding you
And everything you are.

Well, I felt it, so I said it.
And now, I won't live to regret it.
But God knows a girl takes so long to forget it."

People have amazing ways of starting over.
Sing a song about the summer. 
Sing a song about the summer.
And we'll forget the fall......

So I slept by strangers.
And read books about love.
Repeated mantras 
That said "Hey, I am good enough."
But it was by the steps of the chapel, 
When I heard those children sing,
That I felt the heat
And new the sun had finally found me.


People have amazing ways of starting over.
Sing a song about the summer. 
Sing a song about the summer.
Sing a song about the summer.
And we'll forget. 

Someday

 There are storms I can't navigate
Come in waves and crash into me
Roll in like fogs of fear
Without them, I don't know who I'd be.
They go oceans deep
And it's warm underneath
But I'm drowning somwhere

I've been waiting for someday
But some days
Just never come
And there are things I've been trying to say
For years now
Guess I should have done.
And if only the good die young
If the good die young,
What does that make the rest of us? 

I've been walking proud
Talking loud
About how I'm gonna be someone
But how long was I supposed to stand
Gun in hand
Screaming I won't give in?
There are crowds to please
And I'm on my knees
Screaming enough is enough is enough
I'm breathing somewhere.

I've been waiting for someday
But somedays just never come
And there are things I've been trying to say
For years now 
I guess I could have done.
And if only the good die young, 
If the good die young,
What does that make the rest of us? 

Heartbeats in the dark, 
I guess we're heartbeats in the dark
And when my heart beats in the dark, 
you know, I'm hopeful.
Heartbeats in the dark,
I love your heartbeat in the dark
And when your heart beats in the dark, 
I know you're hopeful.

We've been waiting for someday.
So I know some day 
it's just bound to come.
And all these things I've been trying to say
I'm gonna say
While I'm alive and young.
Cuz if life is for living
Surely, it's best to believe.
And best to live in love. 



Christmas in My Heart (as featured in Last Vermont Christmas Hallmark movie with Karen Dezelle as voice of Aubrey, written, composed, and performed by Karen Dezelle)

 

Everytime I see twinkling lights sparkle

Red and gold and green

Or hear a choir sing silent night

While the snow falls Christmas eve

It takes me back to 

Times with you and the magic that we share

And I know that when I go home I'll find the love

Of Christmas there yes i know 

This Christmas ill be with you

We'll hang the mistletoe and our stockings too

You'll be with me whether near or far 

You're in my heart 

When I look outside and see a winter white

When the world becomes a wonderland

When i hear stories of the grace and glory

That night in Bethlehem

It makes me think of 

All of your love and the wonder in my life 

And I believe that's all we need to stay warm this Christmas night

Yes i know

This Christmas I'll be with you

While the sleigh bells ring and the snow falls too

You'll be with me near or far

You're in my heart 

Can you hear the children caroling?

They sound like choirs of angels when they sing

Because the joy that only Christmas brings

Is in their hearts

And it's in my heart 

This Christmas I'll be with you

I'll never miss another with you

You'll be with me near or far

You're in my heart.

It's Christmas in my heart.